How Childhood Neglect Can Turn Love into Obsession

"Early childhood neglect is one of the most insidious forms of child abuse. Early neglect can be defined as any pattern of behavior from a primary caregiver that dismisses or overlooks the basic needs of a child, including their emotional needs ( attention, love, protection, encouragement, validation, mirroring) and or their physical needs, including food, shelter, clothing, supervision, boundaries, and medical and dental care. The long-term consequences of having experienced childhood neglect are well-documented in academic research, including the negative effect on self-esteem and self-worth."

"Many with histories of chronic abuse or neglect experience deep fears of abandonment which can rewire how they experience relationships while creating internal pressure to fix, save, monitor, or control a partner to prevent the abandonment they fear most. 4, 5 This can also create an inability to be alone, routinely jumping from one relationship to another without reflection or gaining insight, and feelings of chronic emptiness and boredom in current relationship as a result of these patterns."

Early childhood neglect involves caregiver patterns that dismiss or overlook a child's emotional needs (attention, love, protection, encouragement, validation, mirroring) and physical needs (food, shelter, clothing, supervision, boundaries, medical and dental care). Long-term consequences include reduced self-esteem and self-worth. These developmental disruptions often persist into adulthood and shape romantic relationships through obsessive rumination, compulsive patterns, control-seeking, and intense fear of abandonment. Such fear can produce internal pressure to fix, save, monitor, or control partners, prevent solitude, rapid serial relationships, chronic emptiness, and cycles of idealization and withdrawal.

Read at Psychology Today