"Challenges are inevitable in any relationship. However, when we encounter relationship roadblocks, we usually retreat to our most familiar scripts, seeing the other person through a narrow lens. When we're angry at a spouse, for example, it may seem impossible to remember them as the person we fell in love with; a flare-up with our boss and we forget what a chance they took on us early in our career. Yet our nighttime dreams can help return us to a more expanded view."
"While we dream about people we know in waking time, rarely do the familiar faces in our dreams behave exactly as we would expect them to in waking life. The staid, strict mother is suddenly carefree; the couch-surfing, irresponsible brother-in-law now owns a modern, upscale house. Waking up, we have the possibility to curiously reflect on the differences. We can ask ourselves whether there is something more or different to the person than the way we've been viewing them in waking time."
Nighttime dreams and daydreaming provide alternative perspectives on people and relationships. Dreams frequently present familiar individuals behaving in unexpected ways, offering opportunities to notice differences between dream portrayals and waking perceptions. Reflecting on those differences can reveal unseen traits or possibilities in others and broaden habitual, narrow interpretations during conflict. Daydreaming can help imagine solutions to interpersonal problems and cultivate compassion. With deliberate reflection on dream content, self-awareness can expand and reveal how one interacts with others. Applying insights from dreams and daydreams can guide adjustments in perspective and behavior to improve waking-life relationships.
Read at Psychology Today
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