Communicating frustration about sons' connection to their father is crucial for personal well-being. It's essential to understand their relationship with him is not a rejection of the mother. Emotions like hurt and betrayal are valid, but support systems outside the family can bring healing. By processing emotions, individuals may develop a softer perspective towards adult children, recognizing their need for paternal connection despite the father's shortcomings. Balancing emotions is vital to avoid losing precious familial relationships.
You absolutely deserve to feel hurt and betrayed by your husband, but you should look elsewhere for compassion and healing. Therapy, friends, books, podcasts, support groups, those rooms where you pay an hourly fee to use a hammer to destroy a bunch of stuff-whatever feels right to you.
Don't pull back. Your sons maintaining a relationship with their father is not an attack on you. Children, including adult children, will often forgive their parents for a lot. It's natural.
I suspect that as your anger and sadness fade and as you start to be a little bit gentler on yourself, you might find that you soften toward your sons, too.
You might begin to see them as men who were once little boys who were raised by a father who didn't have what it took to do his part for the family.
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