"When we were married, this was an enormous problem. We never went out with other couples or had dinner parties together because he was never available after 5 or 6 p.m. I went everywhere by myself: theatre, films, museums, opera. Even our vacations did not align, so I traveled alone. It is ironic that one of the things that ruined our marriage - opposite schedules, which meant we rarely saw each other - was the exact reason we could happily cohabitate for two-plus decades."
"Do you think we will always be in each other's lives? I have asked Yash this more than once. Yes, he always says. Yes. I want to believe him, but as our living arrangement is about to end, I wonder."
A NYU professor and her ex-husband have shared a two-bedroom rent-stabilized apartment for 23 years, remaining divorced for 16 of those years. Their opposite schedules—she works afternoons while he works nights as a high-end restaurant waiter—created marital conflict when married, as they rarely saw each other and couldn't participate in social activities together. After their surprisingly amicable divorce, she considered moving but ultimately stayed, partly due to the rent-stabilized lease in both their names. Their incompatible schedules, which contributed to their marriage's failure, paradoxically made them excellent roommates. The arrangement is now ending, prompting reflection on whether they will remain in each other's lives.
Read at Apartment Therapy
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