In her early 20s, Sherrinford Holmes began to discover that she can't stand the feeling of being confined to any point on the gender spectrum, whether it's woman-which she said is how most people perceive her- man, or genderfluid. She likened the sensation to feeling weighed down by hotel bed sheets or blankets when she would prefer to kick them loose. "It feels restricting," said Holmes, now 33. "It feels suffocating."
I'm a 44-year-old man and I've been married to a 45-year-old woman for the past 15 years. About six years ago, she told me that she was basically done with sex. While we have had sex maybe 10 times or so since then, her statement has been essentially true. She was never particularly sexual anyway (she never communicated about likes/dislikes, fantasies, masturbation, etc.) and didn't feel like physical intimacy was important to her.