The shoulds are a type of cognitive distortion (unhelpful thinking habit) that can lead to judgment. You may judge others, for example, 'They shouldn't act that way,' and yourself. In this post, we will focus on the shoulds you direct at yourself, though the strategies may be helpful for all cognitive distortions.
People with obsessive-compulsive tendencies tend to struggle immensely with decision-making. Outsiders looking in wonder why common choices, like where to work or whom to marry, are so challenging for them. Worsening the problem is the proclivity toward maladaptive daydreaming, spending hours on end fantasizing about ideal scenarios. Often, these imagined scenarios don't even entail the full scope of what would be expected were they to exist.
Infertility magnifies every communication challenge a couple already carries, as stress can distort our perception. Even simple differences of opinion can suddenly feel like rejection or blame. Spare me the Pain Our minds are wired to spare us from pain and uncertainty. Thought fallacies are the brain's way of managing that fear. When we face something unpredictable or beyond our control, the mind scrambles to restore order where none exists.
You feel like you've been on a roller coaster, constantly applying for jobs and searching for the perfect one. You've sent an updated resume and cover letter. You answered all the questions. You were asked to submit video answers to questions. And now you wait. Will you be called for an interview? After the tenth time of checking your email, the uncertainty in your head starts to take over, leading you to question yourself: "Why did I even try? I'm not as good as the other applicants. What makes me think they'd want me?"
