She insists that we never have sex while we are guests in their home or they are guests in ours. As ridiculous as I think that is, I am willing to go along with it. However, my wife has now decided it even extends to self-pleasure. She has forbidden me from taking a Fleshlight and has gone so far as to say I'm not even allowed to jerk off! She's completely out of line here, right?
This took a turn! I thought you were going to say you didn't want to miss the time with your family. But you're actually concerned about germs. And you apparently believe special virus strains attach themselves to people who have fallen on hard times. I'll tell you where I agree with you: You should not, under any circumstances, show up to volunteer anywhere that requires you to interact with people who need help. They will feel your disgust, and they don't need that.