#sexual-boundaries

#sexual-boundaries

I am a bisexual, 50-year-old woman who enjoys threesomes, including with the most common configuration of a bisexual woman partnered with a straight male. All my past encounters have been amazing-open communication, everyone hot for everyone, natural transitions between constellations of two and three people interacting. However, last night I ended up in bed with a couple, and once we got our clothes off, something happened.

This is one of those things I only discovered once I moved in with my boyfriend a couple of months ago: I feel horrible, uncontrollable disgust if he comes on to me or touches me sexually after I use the bathroom. But, every time, like clockwork, he's on me like some sort of excretory missile. It happens right after I poop.

I asked him what his hobbies are, and he said dressing up as a woman and masturbating furiously. I got the impression he was just looking for sex, but so was I. If either of us had thought the other was looking for something serious, we'd have run a mile. That Ollie is more experienced in ethical non-monogamy (ENM) made me feel insecure at first.

She insists that we never have sex while we are guests in their home or they are guests in ours. As ridiculous as I think that is, I am willing to go along with it. However, my wife has now decided it even extends to self-pleasure. She has forbidden me from taking a Fleshlight and has gone so far as to say I'm not even allowed to jerk off! She's completely out of line here, right?

You wrote that you know you would think less of him. If you're certain, or even fairly certain, that you will lose a significant amount of attraction or respect for your partner if you proceed with a particular sex act, the situation is more high-risk for the relationship than a turn-off or a lack of interest would be. "Mean" here would look like using language of shame and judgment when talking to him about it: "Ew, gross, I'll never see you as a man again."

My wife and I have been at odds over something since we've been together. She gets especially horny during her period and wants sex. The idea of doing it while she has that going on sickens me. With the exceptions of when she was pregnant, every month it's been the same thing when that week rolls around: the demands, my refusals, and the accusations that I'm "not a real man." How can I get through to her that this is off the table for me once and for all? -Counting the Days Until Menopause