"Awful? No. If you're worrying about betraying your cousin, she can't (and doesn't seem to want to) lay claim to every former paramour. But there are a lot of intertwined relationships here, so I would tread more carefully than if the handyman were just a casual acquaintance. First, there's the fact that he's working for you, specifically in your home. If you were to pursue a relationship with him, I'd first find another handyman and be clear with him about why."
"But you're both adults and any adult entering into a romantic or sexual relationship should be communicative about boundaries, pitfalls and needs. So, you and he should have an adult conversation before going any further. What are your needs, what are his, what are the concerns, where do things get hazy? Is what you want something that fits into your life and schedule what he wants? It sounds like your ideal situation right now is something simple."
A 40-year-old single mother with twin five-year-olds feels mutual attraction to a handyman introduced by a cousin who once had a brief sexual relationship with him. The handyman currently works in the woman's home, creating intertwined relationships and potential complications. The recommended approach is caution: hire a different handyman before pursuing romance and be transparent about that change. Both adults should have an explicit conversation about boundaries, needs, pitfalls and compatibility, especially given limited time and desire for something simple. The focus should be on clear communication and ensuring any arrangement fits both parties' lives and schedules.
Read at www.mercurynews.com
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