I have two young children, and he refuses to meet them and says he doesn't want to be involved in any child-related activities or even conversation. It makes me really sad as my children are such wonderful little people, but he just doesn't want anything to do with them. I split up with their dad years ago and we co-parent well without any issues.
If it's your job to figure out when to share this, it's also a partner's job to figure out when to ask. Wanting kids isn't like monogamy or working for a living, where until instructed otherwise people can basically assume that's your plan. More people than ever are deciding they don't want kids. The fact that you're one of them is not shocking, confronting or even especially unusual.
When you are able to calm down, you should reach out to your friend. Chances are, she is totally unaware of her behavior toward you. Because she doesn't handle stress well, she shrugs off your issues. Now, seeing her co-worker on a daily basis and observing whatever crisis she may have experienced has forced her to acknowledge someone else going through it.
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