The Pain of Unbelonging: Why Workplace Bullying Hurts
The need for connection is evolutionary. Traveling in packs offered physical protection and emotional support. Ostracism threatens belonging more clearly and more strongly than other unpleasant social responses.
Over a century ago, psychologist William James wrote, "My experience is what I agree to attend to." Neuroscience has since confirmed this insight, showing that emotional states are tied to where attention goes.