#etiquette

#etiquette

Although hosting friends and family for the holidays can be fun, there's no denying that doing so also comes with its fair share of stress. Without proper planning, things can even get chaotic. To avoid making etiquette mistakes in the process, Business Insider asked two experts to share the top mistakes they see people make when hosting. Here's what they said.

When I learn that an acquaintance supports stripping my rights away, I distance myself from them. Because of this, I've received some comments like, It's such a shame that you can't even be friends with me because we disagree on politics.

My signature perfume is a well-known and expensive classic scent. For my last birthday I received not one, but two generous gifts of this perfume: one from a dear lifetime friend and another from a beloved cousin. Both live a long distance from me; we rarely meet face to face. The problem is, both were knockoffs. I know this scent well, and the fake bottles were easy to detect.

"If you're meeting at a restaurant and the [reservation] is at 8pm, you have to be there five minutes before that, but if the party is in someone's home, I think you should be fashionably 10 minutes late," says etiquette consultant Patricia Maybury (theetiquettesuite.ie). Any earlier, and your host may still be frantically finishing their make-up or chopping up lemon slices.

I got married at an early age, but the marital bliss was short-lived as my wife died a few years later. That was 20 years ago, and I have since built a new, happy life for myself. In this new life, I have never had any desire to embark on another long-term relationship, let alone remarry. I enjoy being on my own, although I consider myself to be quite sociable. I have a group of good friends, who provide excellent company whenever I want it.

We tried to work with many different animal shelters and rescues, but it just did not work out for us to go that route. We also did a lot of research on getting a dog from reputable breeders, but we couldn't afford any of them. We ended up purchasing a dog from what some would call a backyard breeder. She was a lovely woman, with beautiful, healthy puppies and reasonable prices.

Everyone knows that washing machines and dryers eat socks, although rarely in pairs. The minute you leave the laundry area, the appliances are gurgling with laughter as they envision you left holding a mateless sock. So it is not only unjust but unamusing to accuse other people of such a ridiculous crime (or any other). You could ignore the post, safe in the knowledge that no one will really believe you to be a petty thief.

Your final exclamation suggests that you doubt your own assessment that anyone could be so irrational as to blame you for their mistake. But Miss Manners assures you it is actually a common which is not to say acceptable reaction in such situations. The correct way to react to being mistaken for someone else will depend on the other person's behavior. It is an embarrassing situation for them, so if they make a genuine apology, help them out by accepting the apology quickly and changing the subject.

Your duty to intervene increases with the value of the object and the likelihood it will be purloined. You would presumably not be asking if it were a question of, Mister, hands off that baby. Or Get your own can of peas this one is taken. The case you describe may exceed the normal deference shown to the foolishly risk-tolerant.

What were you hoping for? A fun evening with a stranger hopefully good chat and not painfully awkward. First impressions? Warm, friendly and charismatic. What did you talk about? What didn't we talk about? We discussed the dating world, our travel experiences, funny personal stories and British TV icons. Most awkward moment? When we both arrived at the same time and stood at the front of the restaurant wondering if we were each other's date but feeling too awkward to ask.

In 2011, I had weight loss surgery. It was very successful, and I've managed to keep the weight off. Of course, a lot of people think I took the easy way to lose weight, but surgery is not a miracle cure, just a tool. My current problem is actually keeping my weight up where my doctor (not the weight-loss doctor) wants it.

Restaurant patrons should not be asking such questions, but Miss Manners understands that they do and that appearing to be offended or unfriendly can have adverse consequences for both the business and your employment. The polite response is to say, in a bright, friendly way, No, I'm from here before moving on to restaurant business. This will not lessen your own annoyance at being asked, but if it ever-so-slightly embarrasses the patron, perhaps you will have saved the next employee from such unwanted attention.

GENTLE READER: Unless the first thank-you letter ended with, And Jane says, Thanks for nothing where's my dress?' it is fine nay, charming to send a second letter without referencing the first. But if your mother is able to text your aunt, she has her contact information. Miss Manners is not suggesting you have to use it; she is just curious why, despite the dozens of relatives, you cannot seem to figure out how to find this aunt's number.

For many years, I have been friends with a person who is intellectually disabled. I became acquainted with him and his sister, who cared for him; his sister has now died, and he is living independently. I take him on family camping trips, take him to lunches and dinners and visit with him often, as does the rest of my family. He and my son have developed a solid friendship. After his sister died, his sister's longtime best friend became his legal guardian. She thanks me for the things I do for and with him e.g., Thank you for taking (name) camping, etc. I knew him for years before I ever met her. Is it wrong or petty of me to resent her thank-yous? I do not feel they are necessary, as my friendship with this man is something I chose, not something I am doing out of the goodness of my heart or any other such sentiment. How do I handle this? GENTLE READER: By responding each time with, No, no, it is I who am thankful to have such a good friend.

Chopsticks date back millennia, with the earliest examples in China appearing as early as 1200 B.C. Originally used as cooking tools for stirring pots and retrieving food from hot oil, they gradually made their way to the dining table. By around 400 A.D., chopsticks were more common as eating utensils, and within another century, they had spread widely throughout East Asia, from Vietnam to Japan.

When I thought they were finished, I placed my items on the counter and moved forward to the credit card reader, accidentally bumping into one of the men. He turned to me and said: Well, you're in a hurry, aren't you? His manner was aggressive and his expression was hostile. I just stared at him, taken aback. What should I have said or done?

"Proper etiquette is essential in customer service, and retaining tips should be viewed with ethics and respect for paying consumers. The actions of service providers impact their reputation and future interactions with customers."