The first thing the interviewer asked me was, "Why the name Running on Empty? Where did that come from?" To be honest, I was somewhat unprepared for this question, and I stumbled a bit. The only answer I could think of at first was: "Because that's what childhood emotional neglect makes you feel." It made such intuitive sense to me that I had never even thought about how to explain it.
Shame is an inhibitory emotion on the Change Triangle, the tool that teaches us about emotions. Shame is an emotion designed to keep us from acting in ways that get us banished from the people and groups we need, like our family, peer groups, religious groups, and communities. But when we grew up in environments that harshly punished us for our mistakes, shame tells us to keep our mistakes hidden, lest we "pay the price." That's how shame blocks accountability.
When we perform in a way that is inauthentic, we communicate information to others that does not accurately reflect how we actually feel. For example, we may say "work is good" and "I had a wonderful weekend with my family" when we actually mean "work is overwhelming" and "I felt really sad this weekend."
