For decades, work was designed around a fiction, that of the 'neutral' worker, an abstract individual assumed to be fully available, consistent, rational, and unaffected by bodily constraints. But this neutrality was never real.
Twenty years ago, as the top digital and innovation executive for Citi's credit card business, I led the team that spent months building what looked like a brilliant partnership. We'd found a startup with a disruptive payments platform-one that became the forerunner of what has become a new payment type used by millions of consumers today. The deal: strategic investment in exchange for access to the startup's codebase as a sandbox for innovation pilots. No more waiting in the legacy systems queue. Just rapid prototyping with leading-edge developers.
George Bernard Shaw once wrote that the biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place. Leaders fall into that illusion more often than they realize. We talk. We present. We circulate decks. We assume alignment. Meanwhile, the room has quietly checked out.
What most leaders label as a content problem is actually a presence problem. Leaders often assume credibility rises and falls based on wording alone. In reality, credibility is shaped by executive presence, which reflects the signals leaders send about confidence, clarity, and authority before their ideas are fully heard.
When expectations are unclear, trust in leadership and collaboration begins to drop. When this happens, the frustration that follows is real. But the deeper cost is often invisible-trust begins to erode. This dynamic is increasingly common. Roles evolve, priorities shift, and teams are asked to move faster with less certainty.
No wonder it feels personal that this team rejects your efforts. It is personal; it's happening to you. But it's not about you. This team might have so much internal tension that they can't stand to be in a meeting together. Maybe they had a bad experience with your predecessor. They might think they know it all already and attending meetings is just wasting their time. Or it could really be as straightforward as what they've told you: Their working hours and training times are already used up.
