#parenting-outcomes
#parenting-outcomes
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#parenting #child-development #family-dynamics #mental-health #psychology #resilience #communication #self-worth
#family-dynamics
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
11 hours agoMost families have one person everyone loves but nobody genuinely listens to - and psychology says that person almost always knows exactly who they are, has known for decades, and long ago stopped hoping anyone else would figure it out - Silicon Canals
Family dynamics often lead to certain voices being unheard, creating an invisible hierarchy that affects communication and connection.
Relationships
fromSilicon Canals
3 days agoI'm 73 and my husband asked me what makes me happy and I gave him the answer I thought he wanted to hear - our kids, our grandkids, our home - but the real answer is I genuinely don't know anymore because I've spent forty years editing my joy to fit other people's expectations - Silicon Canals
Editing joy to fit others' expectations can lead to losing sight of what truly makes one happy.
#parenting
Parenting
fromSilicon Canals
12 hours agoPsychology explains the most important thing a parent can give a child isn't stability or education or opportunity - it's the experience of being genuinely delighted in, the specific and irreplaceable feeling of being someone's favorite thing in the room, and children who had that carry it as a foundation and children who didn't spend their whole lives building one - Silicon Canals
Being genuinely delighted in is a crucial gift parents can give their children, impacting their confidence and future well-being.
Parenting
fromSilicon Canals
1 day agoResearch suggests the 1960s and 70s produced adults who could self-soothe, entertain themselves, and tolerate boredom - not because their parents were wise but because their parents were simply elsewhere - Silicon Canals
Modern parenting emphasizes structured activities, contrasting sharply with past generations' unstructured play, which may have fostered resilience and independence in children.
Parenting
fromSilicon Canals
4 days agoPsychology says parents who can't stop helping their adult children aren't being loving - they're unconsciously protecting themselves from the terror of becoming unnecessary - Silicon Canals
Parental overinvolvement may stem from a fear of irrelevance rather than solely from love.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
1 day agoNobody teaches children how to know their own worth - we teach them to perform, to achieve, and to behave, and then wonder why so many adults reach fifty still measuring themselves against someone else's ruler - Silicon Canals
Self-worth is inherent and not based on achievements or external validation.
Mental health
fromSilicon Canals
13 hours agoPsychology says boomers who learned to 'just get on with it' aren't emotionally stunted - they built a coping architecture that millennials are now paying therapists to reconstruct - Silicon Canals
UK spending on private therapy has risen over 40% in a decade, with millennials as the largest demographic seeking treatment for emotional issues.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
11 hours agoPsychology suggests people who were never taken seriously as children grow into adults who either compulsively over-explain or go completely silent - and both responses are the same wound wearing different clothes - Silicon Canals
Over-explaining often stems from trauma and anxiety, leading to chronic justification of one's presence in conversations.
Mental health
fromSilicon Canals
1 day agoPsychology says people who were told they were gifted as children often grow into adults who avoid challenges - because their identity was built on being naturally good, not on getting better - Silicon Canals
Labeling children as 'gifted' can hinder their growth by tying their self-worth to innate talent rather than effort and improvement.
#emotional-unavailability
Parenting
fromSilicon Canals
4 weeks agoPsychology says parents who provided everything materially and nothing emotionally aren't cold - they were loved the same way and genuinely had no idea there was another option - Silicon Canals
Emotionally unavailable parents often substitute material provision and gifts for emotional presence, translating affection into the only language they fluently speak.
Relationships
fromSilicon Canals
4 days agoMost people don't realize that children who grow up without affection don't struggle with love as adults. They struggle with trusting it, because it never felt safe to depend on - Silicon Canals
Emotional unavailability stems from a lack of early affection, leading to difficulties in accepting love despite an inherent capacity for it.
Parenting
fromSilicon Canals
4 weeks agoPsychology says parents who provided everything materially and nothing emotionally aren't cold - they were loved the same way and genuinely had no idea there was another option - Silicon Canals
Emotionally unavailable parents often substitute material provision and gifts for emotional presence, translating affection into the only language they fluently speak.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
22 hours agoA clinical psychologist explains that the need to 'earn' your place in every room you enter isn't humility. It's the residue of a childhood where love had prerequisites, and you internalized the application process as permanent. - Silicon Canals
Humility can mask a dangerous need for validation rooted in childhood experiences, leading to exhaustion rather than true ambition.
Mental health
fromIndependent
3 days agoAsking for a friend: 'My son has just been diagnosed with autism and ADHD. My husband also got tested and has ADHD. How will all this affect our relationship?'
Navigating the challenges of neurodiversity in a family can be overwhelming, especially with multiple diagnoses affecting communication and relationships.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
1 day agoPeople who clean before the cleaner arrives, apologize when someone bumps into them, and pre-explain before anyone has asked for a justification all grew up in homes where taking up space without earning it first was treated as an act of aggression. - Silicon Canals
Cleaning before the cleaner reflects a deeper issue of feeling unworthy of help without prior justification.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
2 days agoPsychology suggests people who adopt their parents' bad traits as they get older aren't becoming their parents - they're reverting to the most deeply installed operating system they have, the one that was running before they were old enough to choose a different one, and stress, age, and the slow erosion of self-monitoring are simply the conditions under which it boots back up - Silicon Canals
Behavioral patterns from childhood can resurface under stress, revealing deep-rooted psychological templates formed from early experiences.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
1 day agoThe hardest thing about being the calm one in a family is that your steadiness becomes load-bearing. Everyone leans on it, nobody asks what holds it up, and the day you finally crack, people don't comfort you. They panic. Because your collapse threatens the architecture, and the architecture was always more important than you were. - Silicon Canals
The calm family member often bears the burden of emotional labor, managing others' feelings while suppressing their own.
#childhood
Parenting
fromSilicon Canals
11 hours agoPsychology suggests people who grew up in the 1960s and 1970s developed their emotional durability the way bone develops density - not through protection from impact but through repeated, low-level, unsupervised exposure to it, and the generation that resulted is not tougher because they were stronger to begin with, they are tougher because the childhood kept asking something of them and they kept answering - Silicon Canals
Generational differences in childhood experiences highlight resilience built through independence and manageable challenges without adult intervention.
Parenting
fromSilicon Canals
3 days agoChildren raised in the 1960s and 70s developed their resilience the same way muscle develops under resistance - not by being protected from the load but by being required to carry it, repeatedly, without assistance, until the carrying became the unremarkable default rather than the exceptional achievement - Silicon Canals
Independence and resilience were fostered in children of the '60s and '70s through unstructured play and learning from failure.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
2 days agoChildren who were praised for being smart rather than for working hard often become adults who avoid challenges - not from laziness but from a deep fear of being found ordinary - Silicon Canals
Praising children for being 'smart' can hinder their growth mindset and willingness to take risks.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
2 days agoPsychology says people who reply to messages within seconds aren't just efficient - they've built their sense of safety around being reachable, because somewhere in their past, being slow to respond had consequences - Silicon Canals
Instant responses to messages often stem from a psychological need to mitigate perceived threats rather than mere efficiency.
Miscellaneous
fromPsychology Today
1 month agoKids Today: Thoughts From Research, Practice, and the Classroom
Each generation faces unique challenges; today's youth deserve recognition for their perspectives rather than dismissal, as evidenced by clinical research, therapeutic practice, and educational settings.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
2 days agoPsychology says people who grew up poor and became successful often can't fully enjoy it - not because they're ungrateful, but because some part of them never stopped waiting for it to disappear - Silicon Canals
Successful individuals often struggle with feelings of scarcity and anxiety about their financial stability, despite their achievements.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
3 days ago9 subtle behaviors that reveal someone grew up in a household where money was discussed in whispers, and why those behaviors persist long after financial security has arrived - Silicon Canals
Financial behaviors are shaped by early experiences and trauma, not just knowledge or information gaps about money.
Parenting
fromSilicon Canals
3 days agoThe most painful thing about watching a parent age isn't the physical decline. It's the moment you catch them deferring to you on a decision they would have made without hesitation ten years ago, and you both feel the transfer of authority that neither of you agreed to. - Silicon Canals
The real challenge of aging parents lies in the subtle shifts of authority and uncertainty in their decision-making.
fromMail Online
1 week agoHaving children DOESN'T make you happy, study claims
'These results do not support our hypothesis that parenthood is positively associated with hedonic wellbeing (levels of positive emotions) and life satisfaction,' the researchers, from the University of Nicosia in Cyprus, wrote.
Parenting
Parenting
fromSilicon Canals
2 weeks ago7 behavioral patterns people display when they were raised by a parent who loved them deeply but had no idea how to express it without criticism - Silicon Canals
Critical parents can love deeply yet struggle to express it without criticism, leading to complex emotional patterns in their children.
Parenting
fromSilicon Canals
3 weeks agoI asked 11 parents what their biggest parenting regret is and every single one described something they said rather than something they did - and the consistency of that pattern suggests that children's ears are more precise instruments than parents realize - Silicon Canals
Parents' spoken words create lasting regrets more than their actions, with negative statements profoundly shaping children's self-perception and identity development.
fromPsychology Today
2 months ago10 Things to Do That Can Make You a Better Parent
Saying yes to your child means loosening the reins and indulging them a little. It means being as flexible as you can while still setting clear limits as you normally would. For instance, let them make a fort from blankets, pillows, and couch cushions, knowing this will create more work for you, cleaning up later. Let them paint their bike. Let them invent a cookie recipe which you help them make and bake, knowing it will likely be barely edible. You get the idea.
Parenting
fromBusiness Insider
2 months agoI regret not practicing gentle parenting with my oldest kids. I'm making up for lost time now.
Parenting evolved from old-school punitive methods to a gentle, guidance-focused approach emphasizing natural consequences, trust-building, and learning from experience.
fromPsychology Today
1 month agoListen to Your Mother: What Children Learn by Eavesdropping
What makes me even crazier is that I know they can listen. I know this because they do all the time, mostly when they aren't supposed to. I can't tell you how many times I've been having an adult conversation with my husband and/or friends and my two children-who haven't listened to a word I've said all day-suddenly have very thoughtful and detailed questions
Parenting
Parenting
fromIndependent
2 months agoOur daughter only wants her mum - how can I step in to help soothe her and share the load?
Young children often prefer one parent; gently stepping back and rebalancing caregiving duties prevents caregiver burnout and supports children's developing emotional regulation.
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